A couple foundation blocks with regards to arguing that I have always followed and that have never failed me;
-Arguing over stupid things indicates something else is wrong and neither of you wants to talk about it.
-Arguing never made a relationship happy. You'll never sit back one day with your partner and reminisce fondly about an argument you had. Chances are good you wont even remember most of your arguments. Keep it that way.
-If someone needs to vent, let them.
-Never, ever, EVER go to bed angry and never argue tired.
-Sleeping on the couch is not nearly as bad as it sounds.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."