Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:04 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

My relationship with Si has ended. 12 years. All good things must come to an end.

I am actually okay right now. I have no choice but to pick up the pieces and go forward. This is what feels right. I love her, but I had to let her go. Naturally she took it hard. All I could do was apologise. I am deeply sorry that it had to end. I have to work on me and find myself. I no longer feel like me. Everything I was is not who is standing here now. My decision to end it has caught everyone off-guard. I cannot change everything about myself, but I do have to improve and change. Pinning or shifting the blame on my screw ups is only the icing of the cake. Would we have problems as a mono couple? Sure. All couples have problems. This set of problems is unique. Could that other person be a job or social life or anything? Possibly. I am the reason my hubby ended up displaced. I got complacent and was so secure in my marriage that I figured tending to her needs and caving to her wants was the right thing to do. I took my husband for granted. He put up with this, and how did I repay him? I put somebody before him and tuned him out. I was selfish. I am putting all of my energy towards working on me and our marriage. For the first time since the first year of our relationship, it will be two of us. Will I be able to handle that? I believe so. Just aa someone can quench their thirst, I can control my feelings. There is no rule that says I must go seek something or someone new. I have the capacity to love more than one, but I do not have to act on it. I do not get the whole suppression argument. I know what had to be done. I am committed to this new chapter. I hope that Si and I can be friends.


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