Originally Posted by FullofLove1052
I seriously contemplated ending the relationship and just keeping the marriage closed.
I have started this path of discovery, but I feel like I am undergoing a metamorphosis and a massive overhaul. Matt is puzzled. He has been trying to qualm my concerns and lessen my guilt by assuring me that he does not or did not feel the same. If I cannot get my guilt under control, poor Si is going to end up with a broken heart and I will be testing the waters of monogamy.
Looking at these statements, recent developments ( the break up) and the title of the the thread couldn't experimental monogamy be worse from the OP point of view? Having had a poly dynamic from nearly day one (10 plus yrs ) having grown sick of that to now a closed relationship. To get 100% attention and time with his wife and family. And lets say they do that for a number of yrs and then that old poly identity which has been suppressed bubbles back to the surface....experiment failed I really want to go back to 2 equal partners/ Co primary's. Now who's got the high ground on eyes wide open and or this is what I signed up for ...or what I didn't sign up for???
Have these theoretical discussions taken place ?
I'm just trying to think what you could build into the system as a contingency for something like that ...but outside of saying during dates or intimacies "Yeah this was really nice and I had a great time but dont get to attached to all this time and attention there could be a cut coming you way"
Maybe sleep in separate rooms a few nights a week as to not get too use to waking up lovely entangled with your spouse.