View Single Post
Old 03-30-2013, 08:15 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 1,357

It's probably best to take things slow if you can. Sounds like you two are in the fortunate position of being able to do so and are able to take the time to go over some of these things in a theoretical context. Most of the time people who are new to this already have a new partner and the puppy love feelings are making everything spiral way too fast.

Originally Posted by sjn1069 View Post
We do argue, as most people do, and on rare occasions when we've argued one or the other of us has left the house to "cool down". Later when we are both together again and our heads are cooler we are able to talk through our issues and resolve them. We never allow a disagreement to go unresolved.
My curiosity surrounds the nature of these arguments. I call them arguments because a "cool down" period is required in the middle of them. That is not a conversation I would call a disagreement, that's a straight up heated argument and is a red flag that there is a more base line issue not being dealt with.

In my opinion this should be the nature of your investigation, not the visiting of another partner. Regulating what partners do is against my fundamental viewpoint. If my focus is on how to contain their behavior to best suit my feelings I am decidedly making things worse and am ignoring or marginalizing the importance of a real issue. If I'm fighting with my partner that *must* be investigated because there is clearly something going on that is in need of mending.

Basically, I think you're looking at the wrong problem.
Me: male, 40, straight, single
Reply With Quote