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Old 03-30-2013, 03:52 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,481

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
POW vs Farm Fresh is hardly a fair comparison. We both know it, and that's why you chose it. Instead, let's compare Manhattan to Rural Oklahoma.
It isn't a fair comparison, it wasn't supposed to be a fair comparison. I wasn't substituting POW camp for monogamy, though I had no doubt that's what some people would hear.

That's why I stated very clearly that's not what I was doing...
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
(Note: I used extreme examples to illustrate the discussion of comparing lifestyles, not as a value statement of monogamy or polyamory)
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I don't need to. I'm not the one attempting to place labels on your relationship.
SC, if you don't want to put labels on your relationship then don't. I am not trying to do this for you. It is pretty obvious that's what you are hearing but I literally couldn't care less about how you label your relationship.

Can we move on from this "don't tell me how to live my life" argument? I did not and will not make assertions about how you should look at your relationship. In all honesty, I couldn't care less and I refuse to get dragged down into that kind of discussion.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I don't even have to agree with you that "husband" and "wife" are hierarchical titles
Then don't, but they are titles and my argument is that titles in general (and those in particular) come with assumptions of authority and responsibility.

You (and others) seem to think that titles don't come with implications of authority and responsibility. That's very odd, but you guys are entitled to have odd opinions if you want. It just means that no rational conversation can occur if words have "fluid" meanings like that.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I find it ironic that in the process of so vehemently encouraging autonomy and opposing control, you give yourself permission to label my marriage by your definitions.
I do give myself permission to discuss relationship types. Who is telling you what your marriage is? I'm talking about titles and the assumptions they come with. You find a discussion about the implications of titles to be an attempt to control your actions? That's very strange to me and I am becoming really confused about where this conversation has gone.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
My husband and myself are the only people who get to declare whether my marriage is hierarchical. You present your definition, and I will tell you whether it applies to my marriage. I am, after all, the only person on this forum qualified to answer that particular question. In return, I will not attempt to label or define your relationships. Fair?
You can redefine words however you want, SC.

No one is telling you how you have to define or classify your relationship.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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