I saw FullofLove repeatedly use that phrase, that having another partner should "enhance her marriage." TBH it kinda grossed me out. It seemed to put her het marriage ahead of her equally long term woman/woman relationship.
My 2 most important relationship enhance each other. My partners complement each other. They are different people, and each one fulfills needs and desires I have. It's wonderful!
I remember when I was monogamously married, and so was my sister (she still is married) we used to compare our husbands' qualities and say, put them both together and you'd get the perfect man. Ha Ha! Well, I got divorced, I started dating, I found 2 people I love-- I put my male partner and my female partner together and got the perfect person for me. Sweet!
However, since I'm such a slut, I also keep my okc profile open and and occasionally date this or that guy. If one ever works out, he also will enhance my LIFE, bring me more fun, more romance, more sex, more insights into life and love, more hobbies to share, etc etc.
BTW, my bf is married and I know he doesn't look for other lovers to enhance his marriage. He just loves women, variety, stimulation.
I wouldn't use another person as a marital aid, merely there to add spice to one or both of my serious relationships, UNLESS that person is a sub and wishes to be thought of as an object, a toy, a slave in fact.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)