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Old 03-30-2013, 12:53 PM
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rory rory is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
Posts: 496

Have loads of fun! And I also want to add that I appreciated the (totally-not-)TMI portion of your post earlier.

I so often want to comment my side on stuff Mya writes about, but I'm just too busy to do it.

Anyway, I've been feeling so good about poly lately, so very comfortable in my life. I love that I notice it becoming so incredibly normalised in many ways. I like that my brain has gotten rid of such an amount of internalised crap that I feel really removed from the sentiment that there's something strange about poly. To the extent that I actually completely forget it in many situations that people might have a negative reaction to it. I've noticed this a couple of times hanging out with Mya and Evan. Granted, we've mostly happened to be in relatively safe spaces, but still, I notice afterwards that I haven't come to think of it once that it could be a Thing in any way that it shows she's in relationships with both of us.

I've been inspired, in a way, by all the openness Mya has incorporated in her life recently, so much so that it's making me reflect on my own practices. I think the normalisation also plays a role in this, as well as the fact that since quitting my job I've had time and energy to meet some new people and I'm basically getting potentially-friend-type-people here in Dream City.

I consider myself living openly to quite a large extent. Especially where it's important: i.e. my friends, anybody I regularly interact with knows I'm poly and queer etc. Non-mainstream in many ways. Openness has for long been really important to me, and I tend to be only interested to get to know people with roughly similar mindsets.

And right now I'm taking contact with people in different environments, who might become friends. People I may not have time/opportunity to talk with a lot, but who I would happily like to get to know better.

And this brings me to facebook. At the moment, I don't use fb very much and I don't have much info on there about myself. My fb behaviour is not closeted, i.e. I don't watch out for people noticing poly/queerness etc. However, I'm not explicitly out either. I don't have any kind of relationship status or info about sexuality or anything to that effect - while it's not difficult to deduct things about me based on what I post about, I don't express stuff that much either.

I've been happy with that, when my fb interaction has been with people I already know, i.e. friends.

But I'm finding that when I'm friending new acquaintances, it would be really handy to just have it all out in the open. Firstly, it would sometimes save the trouble of coming out (and weed out people who might have issues with something or other, which would totally be a bonus). Secondly, it would just be handy for people to know a bit about who I am, sort of an additional channel for building a friendship if that's something we decide to do.

So, this is basically just thinking out loud about whether I'd like to make some changes and to what extent. Potential practices in consideration (i.e. could do but haven't decided if it's something I want to do):
- posting more status updates in general
- including more explicit poly/queer/kink/anti-sex-negative/non-mainstream political/etc. stuff in status updates
- setting a relationship status - open relationship
- putting up 'partners' via family
- having more info/photos in general
- having explicitly poly photos (atm. I have pictures with both of my partners but not really any obvious "couple photos" with either)

This is fb-related but it's also a broader thing. It's just that lately I've had such comfort in spaces where there's an atmosphere of openness, and it kind of makes me want to try and construct as much of that as possible in my whole life. And fb would just offer one potentially practical channel for developing that.
Living with my partner Mya and metamour Hank. Seeing Lily.
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