Originally Posted by redpepper
What worries me most about your situation is that this man is new to having herpes and perhaps doesn't know all that is entailed in keeping others from getting infected. He doesn't seem interested in making sure they are not either as he is so nonchalant about his own health. Yup, I think your partner could set a good example to him by telling him sorry guy, I am going to find someone to sleep with that cares more about themselves and others bodies than you do... there is a lot of men to pick from when it comes to just sex. It's relationships that are hard to find.
She didn't say he got herpes. She just said "he's had sex with a woman who has herpes UNPROTECTED!", which we can assume she meant without condoms. However, herpes is not transmitted via bodily fluid (like HIV or hepatitis), it's transmitted skin to skin, like HPV. Condoms are effective at preventing contact with bodily fluids, but they only protect the skin they actually cover. So, there are a number of ways to prevent herpes transmission, and condoms aren't all that essential to it.
It's completely possible to have lots of sex with someone who has herpes, not use condoms, and still never get infected. It's also possible to be infected without knowing that you are unless you're tested, and possible to be asymtomatic for years.