View Single Post
Old 03-30-2013, 01:28 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,441

Basic needs for food, shelter and so on, we can draw some generalizations on. We can say "humans being need to eat" or "it's best to have a roof over your head" and safely assume that most people feel the same way.
Happiness however, especially happiness in a relationship, that's another story altogether. I'm sorry but sometimes, the generalizations some people draw are like saying fish should live up trees because birds can fly.

Yes, respect is important. But people will have different definitions of it. Some people will be completely shocked at the lack of respect that must be involved in a poly relationship for instance. Or a BDSM one. Because it would be a lack of respect towards them to treat them like that, because of their personal preferences.

So there definitely isn't a mold that everyone fits in nicely. Because I can't be everyone and know how everyone feels by myself, what I can do is trust that if people are happy, they're in the situation that works best for them. When you start deciding for people that they can't really be happy, they must be wrong, and you have to save them from themselves, you are just taking away their right to make their own decisions and have control over their own lives.
You might not understand why or how people can be happy in some situations, but if they are, they are, and there is no reason to change everything to fit your own personal criteria. Rather than assume that they're not really happy because you think they're not treated with respect, you might go the other way, see that they're happy, and conclude that therefore, they are treated with respect, even if their personal situation would not work for you.
Reply With Quote