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Old 03-29-2013, 11:20 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,539

Ah, thanks for the clarify.

For me? I think my relationships with others can and do affect each other.

For good or for bad? It depends on the current situation at hand and the relationship skills of the players. It's not an automatic positive "enhance" thing all the time. It could be a negative things just as well. It will fluctuate because life brings changes, new situations, etc over time. We are products (partially anyway) of our past experiences.

Hopefully the "overall average" is pleasing for all players in the mix. Then the polyship can feel good in itself and people are in harmony and find the polyship overall satisfying to be in.

As for asking him how HE feels about it -- if he cannot explain how he sees it? Maybe he's not done a whole lot of introspection to KNOW that about himself yet. Or maybe he doesn't have the emotional vocabulary required for expression? Or the philosophical perspective yet to be able to describe his life experience in that way?

There are six maturities. We don't all develop at the same rate in each bucket, and neither do our partners. Part of loving our partners how they are is accepting they are wherever it is in their maturities. We can challenge ourselves and our partners to grow -- in a good way. That's part of the fun of being in relationship. Letting things unfold.

I have been respectful in all my questions, I am genuinely seeking understanding. I feel if he invited me into this world he knew was completely foreign to me, he has some obligation to help me through it if he wants me to stay here. Just as I would help a visitor to my city navigate the streets and sights. Especially someone I greatly cared about and hoped would come back and spend more and more time with me, and maybe even join me permanently.
If that is your expectation, could ask if he's willing to meet that expectation of yours.

I feel if he's this frustrated with what I thought was a rather simple, innocent question, he needs to think about why.
He doesn't need to. Maybe he's functioned in his life without having to? Some people do.

He could think about why and do more introspection. You would like for him to and share his findings. But can't make a person suddenly do that work within if they are unwilling to do it or share info if they are unwilling to share it.

I can see where that would be frustrating for you though if you want better understanding of him, you ask him, and he turns up "blank pages" so to speak.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-29-2013 at 11:25 PM.
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