Welcome to our forum.
Always nice to meet another New Mexican. I live in Albuquerque, and attend the monthly potlucks of the local poly group here. There is also a local poly group in Santa Fe that I hear good things about. Let me see if I can find their web addies.
Albuquerque ... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/albpoly/
Santa Fe ... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SantaFePoly/
The Santa Fe group has monthly discussion groups and other social events. The Albuquerque group has one social get-together each month, plus one potluck per month usually with a discussion group right after.
"A few friends have told me to face the truth and break us up, but I'm not there, primarily because of my daughter. We're good people ... but what to do about getting these needs met?"
Presumably those friends had not heard about "the polyamory option." You don't have to break up, you love your wife and your daughter, there is another way to work out the problems.
I'm sure you will enjoy your time here. Read lots of threads; post any thoughts or questions you may have. I'm glad to have you onboard!