Thanks Anne. We have talked by now. I wasn't so much mad about him telling it via email, but about the fact he emailed me and then immediately went into meetings for hours so was unavailable for communication.
we talked. I understand better where he's coming from. I've been his only partner for 14 months, after he came out of a pretty horrible divorce.
He said: I want to feel free.
I said: you are free, but your freedom is sometimes going to hurt me, and you have to accept that, and I have to be free to tell you about the hurt. And it can be the other way around at some point.
So yeah, I do understand him. And it still hurts. Have to feel the hurt, work through it, know and feel he loves me, and continue on the path we're on together.
I know with my mind he's not choosing her over me. I also know the fluid bonding means much more to me than it does to him, emotionally. I've only had condomless-sex with 2 men, ever... my husband, and C. It hurts that he chooses to give that up. But it does not mean that he does not love me. That is what I need to really tell myself, and feel.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 2 + years