Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Why would he go to poly gatherings to learn how to have relationships with multiple players when what he wants is "no strings sex" with multiple people?
He sounds like he wants to swing, and play in threesomes and moresomes. And that's fine if that's what he wants for himself and gets consent from all players. Galagirl
This is my concern in that he is confusing swinging with poly. He says he wants relationships but honestly it sounds more like he wants swinging and play.
I flat out told him I needed to talk to whomever he tried to bring into the mix before anything happens first just so I know where their head is at. I started this after his first attempt at having a relationship with a mutual female friend. I trusted her not to do anything to threaten my relationship with him so gave him the green light when he indicated he wanted to start a relationship with her. At that time I was leaving it all up to him to talk things out with whomever he was interested in as this was mainly his desire. I soon realized something was off and immediately pulled her aside and asked her if she realized what he was up to. Once I told her that he was trying to start an actual relationship with her, she was immediately shocked and put a stop to things saying that he made no such mention to her of wanting that and that it was NOT what she wanted from him. He was thinking they were in a relationship and she was just lonely and wanting a friends with benefits thing. He was all hurt saying he thought she was agreeable and that he talked to her. I honestly think he's in his own world and just hears what he wants to hear and not what is actually being said.. after that I made it a point to talk to anyone he's trying to start a relationship with just to see if he did actually talk to them and where their thoughts are on the matter. It's saved a LOT of drama and headaches.
As for him forcing, no. Manipulating a situation, maybe and that's a concern because no one likes to be manipulated especially me.