Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery
Another way of looking at it could be to ask yourself the question:
'What would I need in order to feel comfortable about going ahead with this situation?'
So what would need to happen between now and then in order to bridge the gap? What is not happening now that is causing you to want to push back?
For one, when I even slightly indicate that I might be interested in something like that in the future he pushes for RIGHT NOW as in calling up a male friend/acquaintance and setting something up that night or that week. I first need to know and trust ANYONE I plan to let in my life that much, not accounting if there any kind of attraction at all.
Then there is the whole if I indicate the possibility of a future threesome he immediately starts running away with the idea of orgies and wanting a female in the mix when I have explicitly indicated I would do NOTHING with a female as I am not attracted to females and that it would put me in a negative mental place due to having been molested by a female when I was a child.
With those two in mind this is why I tend to want to run away when he start in on adding another to mix. I have told him to slow down and that I cannot move that fast but he seems to have this idea in his head that once things get going everything will work out and that it's nothing more than 'first time jitters'. It's like he's in his own fantasy land and not paying attention to reality and hearing what I am saying. Super frustrating.