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Old 01-09-2010, 10:33 PM
DrunkenPorcupine's Avatar
DrunkenPorcupine DrunkenPorcupine is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 175
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Glad to see you guys are communicating.

I feel that a lot of the relations between myself and others, and my wife's relations with others, have helped us build our own relationship. I very much empathize there, and an excited to see it.

I do want to add a tidbit from my perspective as a male about looks and beauty. My tastes evolve. Or more specifically, I don't have "tastes", I have many.

I've found the most gorgeous ladies. Beautiful slender bodies, bright eyes, beautiful hair, nice faces, et cetera. And then I've talked to them and they're immature, or stuck up or whatever on the list of things I don't like. And I find them less attractive.

The opposite is true as well. I've met people who I wouldn't ever have found attractive if I judged by their bodies alone. And yet, as I get to know them and like them, they become more and more attractive to me. In fact, I think my wife was one of these cases. I think I found her to be a really amazing friend before I stared thinking she was hot.

Working on your own "attractiveness" is kind of a subjective thing, and attempts to address it from a physical perspective might as well turn "other guys" off as turn "new guys on".

To me, a "plain" looking woman who walks into a room confidantly and isn't afraid to strike up conversations is far more likely to get me thinking she's attractive than a model who seems afraid to chat with me.

I know sometimes it's hard to feel confidant enough to do that. I had severe body image issues for years, and while I'm more or less past them now, they creep up now and then. Enough that I felt a little nervous but DID participate in a nude, non-sexual event with about 15 friends over New Year's Eve. So I've been on opposite sides of that spectrum and know how it feels to have both perspectives. It can very much be done and makeup and clothing are a tiny, tiny part of it.
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