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Old 03-28-2013, 04:20 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
I think all examples aren't created equal. Their examples are complimenting a haircut you think is ugly and kissing someone when you're upset.
Many moons ago I attended a play-writing seminar. The one thing that I took away from that has changed a lot of my interactions throughout the years (I wonder if he would be surprised at the part I took away from his schtick) was when he talked about how to take feedback on what he was writing, but he centered on how to ASK for feedback as his central thesis.

In his estimation, the real problem with getting painful and shitty feedback has more to do with what and whom you asked than the feedback itself. Meaning, if you are at a point where you want brutal and honest feedback you should go to the person who you most respect that kind of input from and be explicit about what you want. If you are at the point where all you really want is an encouraging word or two then make sure you don't go to someone incapable of placating and make damn sure you SAY WHAT YOU WANT. "This is a rough draft, I'm really just fishing for a positive statement or two if you can find something you like. I need a little encouragement"

What I take from this is, if you will only accept one answer then don't waste everyone's time... just ask directly for what you want.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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