Hon, ask your PEOPLE.
"I would like to be able to enjoy affectionate gestures with both of you at a pace we all can be comfortable with. Where is that comfort line for each of you at this time? "
See what they say. Maybe you all want to review these sheets to get the conversation going in an organized way.
In particular, this one
since you want to talk about affectionate gesture boundaries. Maybe you all want to do that sheet for initial agreements for the first 3 months and then do it again at to see if comfort levels have moved/needs changed and go for the next 3 mos?
I see that you are excited, I see that you are nervous. But could RELAX. Sort yourselves out and just enjoy what it is and the unfolding of whatever it may become.