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Old 03-28-2013, 02:58 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
No one forces you to get into a relationship or stay there, so even when you make an agreement that you're not entirely thrilled with, you have to admit that it's still an autonomous choice to make that agreement.
It's a shame that this conversation always leads to this point. I'm not sure I understand what is so controversial about saying that the structure of monogamy has one more rule about how partners are allowed to behave than polyamorous relationships. I also am unclear what coercion has to do with this conversation but it necessarily seems to devolve into that... "well no one is forcing you". It is true that life is made of decisions, one of those decisions is what kind of relationship type a person wants to be in... and?

I'm not sure why someone would need to force something for the statement that monogamy (sexual exclusivity as a dealbreaker) is more restrictive on a persons ability to live their life free of rule than polyamory (sexual and romantic exclusivity are not necessarily required). Just because of that one rule in monogamy that is not present in polyamory makes my statement necessarily true. How is what I just said "just an opinion"? Do I have the definition of these words wrong? "Well that's just an opinion" is not valid when what is being said is not a value judgment and is based on the facts available.

Further, the argument from intimidation that if someone makes a statement like this they have somehow fallen prey to an "us vs them" or an "I am more enlightened" mentality is beyond me. Having a reasonable discussion about the fundamental difference between monogamy and polyamory puts me among the unreasonable hardliners? I can't remember who said that one but I call bullshit.

BTW, SC I used your quote above but only as a starting place for the post. I realize I have not quoted you making any of the claims but coercion. Didn't want you to think I was putting words in your mouth "opinion" or arguments from intimidation.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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