Originally Posted by Marcus
If he's hot and cold and you don't know where you stand with him then I'd avoid convincing yourself that it has anything to do with his other girl. It might have something to do with her, but it might also be LITERALLY anything else (work, hobbies, friends, he isn't that into you).
Boy, that's the truth. Chances are, he doesn't even realize he's being that way.
I still remember this call I got from my girlfriend. Actually, it started with a "we need to talk" on fb. I was like "what's wrong?" She said "Well, you, actually." And I'm all like "whaaatt? What did I do?" "Well, it's more what you didn't
Eventually we realized that we just weren't on the same page about what we expected out of the relationship. She's always been the super-attached type, I've always been more laid-back and easy-going, usually wrapped up in my own little world, rather oblivious to what's going on around me.
She almost broke up with me that day, because she didn't feel I was meeting her needs in our relationship. But me, being the type of person I am, I was just like "Well, this is how I am. I don't plan to change. I can try to be a little more attentive, but I'll never be the person it sounds like you want me to be. If that means we have to break up, well that sucks, but I guess that's how it is." That wasn't what she expected. She's always been the one being chased, so she's always been able to set the tone for her relationships. She wasn't prepared for the conversation turning in that direction. But at the end of it all, she decided that being with me was worth changing her expectations. Now, about 9 months later, she thanks me for "teaching" her independence in relationships.