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Old 01-09-2010, 07:19 PM
Krazykitty's Avatar
Krazykitty Krazykitty is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 33

Good points everybody. Thanks especially for this:
I wouldn't want to be the new person getting involved with you only to come to find out that I was there to "pre-emptively fill a gap".
I wouldn't want to do that to someone either, esp if they were looking for a serious or dating type relationship. This was my hurt talking mostly, however I have not ruled out a casual fling type scene with someone (being totally honest about my intentions up front) to coincide with a potential date or hook-up between my husband and the "other" person.

and this:
Just be yourself. You're obviously special
Since I wrote the OP, my lovely husband and I have talked and many of the things mentioned in this thread were drawn out... the fact that superficial considerations aren't what keeps us together it's the deep stuff... the fact that we are incredibly close and neither of us is going anywhere... along with the knowledge that younger, prettier, isn't "better" and I don't have to feel less than her just because we're different and reach my husband's heart (or whatever other parts!) in different ways. It's a process I know I will be working on for at least a little while, but it's very worth it. I need to better deal with my issues around looks and being "beautiful" and then all of this will become less confusing I'm sure...

Also there is the fact that no dating, sex or even talking between the two of them is imminent or even a distant possibility right now. It is all in the realm of fantasy. But just having the discussions about the possibility... has helped us as individuals and as a couple, I think. I'm sure I'll have more to write later... thanks for the words of wisdom and for caring!
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