Metamours & Musings
Received a message from A.'s husband this morning, "Hey. A. had such a great time this last weekend. Thanks so much for taking care of her. She's beamin'! Look forward to meeting you." I wrote him back about my respect for her, and for him and thanked him for his message. Was so thrilled to hear from him, and such positive things to boot. Feel like my grin could split my face wide open, and already like his open approachable vibe that he's got going on. Didn't really expect anything less, given that A. is such a vibrant and intelligent person, but it's still a really nice feeling to know that I have his nod of approval thus far.
Elemental has expressed that A. is by far the best match for me thus far by a long shot. We are eerily similar, even tracing our scars back to teenaged self mutilation and eating disorders. We were both in gifted programs and floundered like fuck in highschool as we realized that we were not like the rest of the world and didn't see the point in systems that we had no desire to be a part of. I keep thinking of her dark, intimate eyes fearlessly gazing into mine, a smile playing on one side of her mouth as I stroked her cheek. Eye-gazing is where it's at for me, and the connected feelings that come from it make me both arouse and sate me all at once. I have only really enjoyed that with Willow, Elemental and A. thus far in my adult life, and I love, love, love it. It's a sure sign of love-making-stuff for me.
I like that she's far away - it'll keep me grounded, and the pulse of NRE down to a dull roar. She's also exceedingly busy - might not see her again until June, and I am SO down with that. Like the subplot without the constant energy and time suck, feels a-okay for me, and adds a delicious sense of anticipation to life.
Elemental and I are prepping the house for the new roomie who will be moving in towards the end of the week. We've moved our home gym into a spare bedroom to make room for her own livingroom, complete with furniture that has been languishing in the garage waiting for the completion of our cabin. It'll be nice to have that side of the garage open for Elemental's indoor projects and storage instead of with perfectly useable furniture. Added bonus is that she will be more in her own space, and not up in my introverted-paradise upstairs, LOLOL. We only had one minor scrap while moving everything around... this is saying something - we've had full relationships meltdowns in the past. So impressed with Elemental's firm commitment to manage his moods better - melts my bloody heart.
This Friday is shaping up to be verrrrry interesting indeed. I bought three tickets for an upcoming show, hopefully anticipating that we'd be bringing a lover with us. We've had a friend who has wanted to experience a threesome in our circle for awhile, and it seems like we are going out on an official date this Friday night. We have a hotel for the night, plans for dinner at my favourite Italian restaurant in the city, and three tickets for a sold out hipster show of my dreams. She is ridiculously sweet and sexy, and I am more than a little worked up about the potential funtimes that lie ahead. I bought a bottle of champagne for Elemental a couple of weeks ago for him to "toast" something in life, and he's saving it for Friday night, LOL. So cute.
They've been messaging a bit, and it registers a big fat zero for me. I'm happy to share Elemental, and see him develop his own relationship with her. Sync specific, it would seem. Ugh. Sync. I still have a lot of anger towards her, palpable and disturbing in its desire for violence; BDSM badness in my mind, which is alternating between hot and sort of disturbing. Have gotta let go of my upset around this, and am definitely making progress, maybe just not as fast as I'd like. So much fucking drama.
I emailed Willow to wish him a happy birthday a couple of weeks ago - had a reminder pop up in my phone, and hadn't spoken to him in several weeks. Sent him an email, and he wrote me back - we have reached a place where we're both pretty peaceful with what has happened, and have moved on. He still loves me, and I him, but I know that for me it's mellowed and changed into a memorable love, instead of a need for something in the present. Elemental didn't feel too happy about the emailing, so I have stepped back from it, but not before pointing out that if I were to behave like he had to me, I would not only continue to communicate with Willow in secret, I would see him in secret as well. That made Elemental look damn sad and get a bit defensive, but I needed to say it - needed to point at his discomfort and say, "Imagine if you were uncomfortable, and not only did I not respect your boundaries, but had hot sex with him all weekend, every weekend for months." I made my point, and then left it alone - I won't be messaging Willow unless Elemental expressly says that it's a-okay with him. End of story. I have ZERO desire to create any kind of drama in my life with E., or re-engage Willow in any way that will keep him from growing forward.
Back to work I go....
Where you go... there you are.
Me: 35. TD, 43, my monogamous beau. Lily: 31, my lady/lover, in two other relationships. Mahogany: 38, my girlfriend, in one other relationship. Elemental: 44, my ex husband.