View Single Post
  #3  
Old 03-26-2013, 06:44 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,916
Default

Quote:
I am pregnant, and thought that we would not be seeing anyone else while I was pregnant, but it was never discussed.
Could discuss it now in the context of

1) I am pregnant and need pregnancy support. HOW i need it? Like this... (list).

2) We need to do better in talking things all the way out and not assuming/not discuss enough before jumping in -- in the future.

3) How does A fit into our lives so that all people's needs are met? When do we all talk in trio? What kind of open relationship model do we have here? So we are all on the same page?

Quote:
when we talked about seeing other people, it was discussed that they would be casual sex partners. It was never stated that they would not be full relationships with other people, but that was my impression.
Could discuss it NOW. A is already here. That's now a separate relationship discussion because she is a person and not a thing that you can just take back to the store for a refund.

BUT.... could discuss NOW about not adding any MORE people to the mix until communication is improved, pregnancy/birth process achieved, and in a a more stable place.

Could also make space to talk about A -- you sound like you are willing to try and it isn't a deal breaker for you. So... figure out how you all want to be together in trio.

Quote:
She was seeing someone else, but has since ended that saying that she loves K so much she wants to be with only him, and wishes that she had him all to herself.
She can wish things. So could he. So could you. And? Feelings and wishes are not actuality.

Actuality is that you are in a 3 people thing here. The three people could sit down to talk how you three want to be together and meet all the people's needs.

What are A needs?
What are his?
What are yours?

Quote:
I have also had a very hard time dealing with jealousy, insecurities, paranoia. I fully admit, I have not been dealing with my feelings well, and it has caused many fights and problems. K is sometimes understanding, and other times is not.
http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/im...ed_10-6-10.pdf

Could page 5 and 6 things help?

Quote:
Meanwhile, I am pregnant and home alone most of the time, raising our 3 other kids (1 bio, 2 full time step) while K is off working and spending almost every moment he is not working with A.
Could sit down and talk about coping with NRE / him dating while still meeting needs and responsibilities at home. Growing a new relationship could not come at the expense of the established relationships. Not just you -- but his relationships with you and his children.

What are you not getting that you need? Are you able to articulate that clearly to yourself at this point in time? Need help sorting that out into a list?

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-26-2013 at 11:26 PM.
Reply With Quote