It was a really good weekend. Matt came home on Friday night, and it was one of the best surprises. He was not due back until the 31st, so when he walked in, I just sat there like he was a mirage. When it finally hit me, I ran into his arms and just held on. I missed that. We talked that night, and we spent the weekend in the Swiss Alps. My parents had already asked to spend the weekend with the children, so we decided to spend some time in a place that holds a lot of special memories.
We talked and hit the slopes. It was nice to start rebuilding our bond and to actually talk without getting upset with one another. I was genuinely happy to be around him. I enjoyed hearing him laughing and knowing that those 13 days away helped him tremendously. We established intimacy. I enjoyed just being in his arms and talking openly and honestly. We came to a few compromises. I now know and understand what some of his hard limits are. We are still going to continue the counselling sessions. They have actually proven to be effective. The one thing Matt needs is for Si to not really be around him. He needs space, and he needs for us to respect the fact that he wishes to have no contact outside of a professional setting.
The other big issue we agreed on was the move in June. We are going ahead with the plans. Princess is due to start in July, and we are finalising arrangements now and securing back-up plans if needed. We are just calling this a trial period/extended holiday with the option to make it permanent.
Si is upset with me because we are moving and going ahead with the plans that have been ongoing for the past year. I am none too thrilled with her attitude considering this move is not just for my princess' education. It is part of my dream. I have always said that when I completed my fellowship, I wanted to relocate. I always wanted to establish the second half of my career in another location, and my DH agreed which is why we looked at schools elsewhere. Si knew this, so it was not a secret. I have always supported her in everything she has ever aspired to do, so for the support to be lacking and for her to have an attitude about me wanting a better future for the children, myself, and the family as a whole is truly upsetting. I cannot make her be happy for me or to even support me on my future endeavours.
In addition to being upset about the move, she was in her feelings about the fact that I spent the entire weekend with my DH. Si and I had no plans, and the last time we talked, she was going to be elsewhere with some of her friends. I was prepared to spend the weekend alone, so when Matt came home, I jumped at the chance for us to talk and to spend some one-on-one time together after being apart. When she feels like talking, I trust that she will come to me.
I realise that this move is upsetting, but her almost refusal to support me is actually pushing me away.
Basically things are going great with my marriage, but my relationship is at an interesting point. DH has been good about listening and offering solutions to help my relationship with Si. I am happy with how our marriage is going. I think we are off to a good start.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.