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Old 03-25-2013, 09:03 PM
hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 451

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Are you saying that mental switch that you flipped a while back seems to be working ? As gala says the "new normal " is taking place.
Perhaps so. One of the things I need to observe - when I can eat again! - is how well the new normal takes hold. I think I know where my attention needs to go, regarding which see below.

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
I thought you had said that because of your long standing professional affiliations with Doc you never stressed out with being at events with him and your wife.
No, I've had no prior affiliation. I suppose I'd seen Doc, from time to time, in the circles in which we circulate. He first came to my notice just over a year ago, when I drove Vix to the airport to meet him so they could travel together here in the States.

That was the first time they traveled together, though they weren't as deeply involved as they have been since, and they were seen together by people who know all three of us.

Vix and I had made the choice to be poly about ten months before that.

Really, though, my struggles have had very little to do with Doc, who really does seem to be a decent guy, in a low-key kind of way. I've never been worried that he'd try to "steal" Vix from me.

Instead, the struggles have concerned communication and expectations between Vix and me regarding the management of our household and choices regarding the girls, especially since she has started traveling so much.

That, and the fact that I'm really not used to being the only adult in the house. The isolation is hard on me, and I end up feeling sorry for myself and isolating myself further . . . though, to be honest, it is difficult to invest in other relationships when I'm the sole housekeeper/chauffeur/homework assistant for a couple of weeks at a time.

Or so I have told myself.

I wonder if it's true?

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
When you say that only a few people know she travels with doc from time to time are you saying that in a code word companions wink wink ?
I mean that they are seen traveling together by people who know all three of us.

Vix and I had a talk about this last night, as it seems a good idea for us to sort out among ourselves who in our shared community knows what about whom. I've been evasive, as noted. Vix has been more open, but only to the point of acknowledging that she and Doc travel together; she says this with a straight face - no winking! - and lets people draw their own conclusions.

Meanwhile, in Europe, Doc sometimes refers to Vix as his "girlfriend", even when she's there with her wedding ring clearly displayed.

What folks there make of it, I have no idea.

In short, there may be feral rumors running around out there. We have to figure out whether to let them be, take them in and feed them, or trap them and neuter them.

(Okay, sorry. There's a runaway metaphor ramp just ahead. I'll pull off there.)

Last edited by hyperskeptic; 03-25-2013 at 09:10 PM.
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