First I wanna say that Im so grateful this place exists
In the real world, my polyamorous relationship is the only one I know of...so talking to someone about my relationship is almost impossible because its almost like we're from two different countries trying to communicate with too totally contradicting dialects.
Now there are of course the two other people in my relationship that may understand my plight but talking to them is like a docter talking to her patient about the same patients situation searching for medical advice.
so here I am...looking for friends in similary situations so I dont feel so alone.
I decided to come back and clarify about my relationship type
I am in a live in situation with a man and a woman
the man has 2 children, the woman has one child and I have two
The man & I's children live with us
The woman's child lives with his dad
The children living in the house ages ranges from 4-8
the child living out of the house is 15
The man and I have been friends since we were 8yrs old (we are now 33 and begun making it more than friends around 6yrs ago)
the man met the woman before we became involved as more than friends
but her and him...and him and I started becoming involved within a week of each other
the man was amazing and remained completely transparent allowing us as women to decide we still wanted to proceed with a relationship despite him being with someone else.
at the time both women were practising bisexuals ..(she has preogressed into a view only bisexual...she likes to look at sexy women pictures..thats about it)
I am still totally open to interactions with another woman although it rarely happens) so since we both likes girls and we both didnt like that we were missing time with him while he was away with the other girl we decided to get together in a 3 way ....
all 3 became sexually involved....we still had one on ones with him..but her and I became volved..sometimes with one on one but they were not nearly as much as our seperate time with him.
eventually we started spending ALOT of time together..switching between houses
eventually we ended up in one house after playing musical houses
living together is pretty decent..we have an ecosystem and everyone plays their part
we have some good times...as friends...like a permanent sleepover
but there is a void...with each women building a relationship and him and very little between ourselves
we end up have an unspoken rivarly/jealousy....
we downgraded calling each other girlfriends to just friends/roommates
like I said the ecosystem works and its largely in part because he is very fair and encourages transparency.
He is an azming balancer
but I am realising that I am really here for the stability it brings....
like what? he & I work in nightclubs for our business
she hates loud noises and prefers staying hom unless its to eat at a restaurant
so I have a permanent free baby sitter..who is freaking awesome with my kids!
our bills are split 3 ways
when one doesnt have there are 2 others to share...
none of us are really connected to our families so we look out for each other ....
but ....heres the but
I have lost interest in being around her
I enjoy the perks..boy do I enjoy the perks
but I want my own place to customize as such
the man is amazing ...and not very demanding on having preferences around the house
but women you know ..we like to claim dominance ...and I have ocd on top of that
so i like things down a specific way and would prefer not to compromise...
especially since Im the neat freak of the lot and she is a self proclaimed slob
I could go on for hours but overall
I am just trying to focus on my blessings make the experience of living together as positive and seemless as possible
while i plan my escape....
I dont hate her...i just dont want to share my universe with her
he is still welcome to date her upon my departure from the trio....
I let forward to having my own little nook and enjoying his time with her as simply me time while he is away on a "buisness" trip lol
I hope that sheds more light on my situation....
oh and at one point i was frustrated by her and I no longer having sex but now Im peaceful about not being with her...
he says we are like two gay boys living together...
it hurts him that her and i have a very cordial wall up but he is very thoughtful about the fact that understands thats where we are right now