Hey. I wanted to thank everyone for the replies and update a little. I'm feeling better, and ultimately am starting to be able to just chalk things up to experience and not be quite so naive. I definitely rushed things- between being excited at the prospect of experiencing another partner besides DH and having some sort of "competitiveness" feeling with DH and his then-GF, I just jumped in without looking.
I'm starting to think about trying again- but with eyes wide open this time. For now DH and I have been working on the dynamics of our poly relationship which is presently a Vee. Maybe sometime I'll be ready to start looking, try to find a woman this time.
Since I've never dated a woman before and have wanted to for a long time. But the looking is hard in a tiny, nowhere town where people gossip like they breathe.
Ultimately I think it's just a matter of giving it time and breathing room.