Yes, Loving, you are right that I was responding to II
I understand that if I'm missing out on the whole context I probably wouldn't interpret things the same way.
I understand that when you start out polyamory you need to start somewhere, and it might be smarter to extent your comfort zone slowly rather than jumping into the water without learning to swim, to mix my metaphors a bit.
I think everyone in a relationship network needs to be able to put themselves in one another's shoes and understand why some things might be challenging, and work together. So while I think going "the marriage is more important, that's that and other people don't have an input" seems a bit too much, I don't think you should deny the fact that it can be hard for people to start out with poly, and there should be some sympathy for them too.