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Old 03-23-2013, 02:32 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

Welcome to the forum, doll.

Your husband will likely never understand how it is possible to love two people. It took him months or years to tell you that he was never really comfortable with the idea of you being having that relationship. I would suggest finding out why he is so uncomfortable with it. When one partner is polyamorous, it is almost expected to feel as if one is not enough and to wonder why that partner feels the need to seek anything else? Sometimes there is a silent threat. Whereas he was the only man in your life for a while and became accustomed to it, suddenly there is someone else. Your husband may feel threatened and like Liam is trying to take his place and become a step-dad to your child(ren). His feelings have a root cause.

I just saw your comment, so I had to edit this. Your husband left his wife for you. That is interesting and would explain a portion of the fear. He left his wife for you, so subconsciously he acknowledges that the very same could happen to him. You could leave him for someone else. Sometimes it is a cycle. Other just plays out that way.

Your husband did something to make YOU happy, but he actually did not like it. He accepted it because he loved you. He probably never liked it, understood it, or even approved of it. He knew it was something you desired, so to keep the woman he loved and to keep her happy, he agreed to it. Notice that it took him years to tell you that he was never really okay with it to begin with it. He probably feared losing you, so he kept that to himself. Now he fears losing you to someone else. The problem with that is resentment has an entry. Did you tell your husband when you first met Liam, or did you wait until after the feelings had developed?

Are you doing things to make your husband feel special? Reminding him why you love him? Having date nights? Reminding him why you married him in the first place? Are you still doing the things it took to get him in beginning at this moment? When dealing with NRE (new relationship energy) or even just developing feelings for another person, people sometimes get complacent and shift all of their focus to that new relationship. They bank on the established one being solid and stable, and they forget to tend to that person's needs or the relationship's needs.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.

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Last edited by FullofLove1052; 03-23-2013 at 02:43 PM.
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