First, I have to correct myself, I meant metamor not paramor and we move on!
It's a natural progression. Just like there is 7 stages of grief, there are stages to working through this. Communication is key but I suggest giving him some time.
If you can maybe suggest to new guy that you need to chill til husband is on board, I know it sucks but by pushing him, u may lose him.
It's just me, my ramblings and the elevator music in my head.
Me: bi, reformed wild-child turned mom and house maid LOL
Crux: straight/hypersexual, possibly mono?
BC: our son, 5 years
CM: second son 9 months.
Mouse: girlfriend! Status new, feelings not so much.