Originally Posted by kellyandb
So, I am very, very new to the subject of poly. My husband and I are a very loving couple who have an incredible amount of communication. We have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 7 years. We also have children.
Months ago, we were talking about our attraction to other people. He is very attracted to my female friend and I am attracted to her husband. It is strange and I am not sure how it even came about. We have a close relationship with them and they do with us also. My husband flirts with her and she flirts back with him. Of course, I think it is cute and we talk all the time about it. Right now we agree flirting is healthy in our relationship. We still are very committed to each other and will be. We joke about having other relationships while having ours too (and not just in a sexual way). I am not sure what he thinks of possibly trying the lifestyle of poly but I am very curious.
I would like to have a conversation about it but I don't want to be too blunt or come on too strong and scare him off (not that he would go anywhere). If he is not open to this, I am okay will staying monogamous. I tend to love others more than most people do. I love my friends and have a connection with them in a way I don't with other people. Anyway, I would love to hear if anyone has any suggestions in a way to bring it up and see what he thinks in a way that isn't too strong.
We are both Christians but are pretty laid back. My husband and I just finished our first journey of being a surrogate for another family who couldn't have kids. Some other Christians had a problem with it but we wanted to give other families children where they couldn't themselves.
Any suggestions or thoughts are welcome. Thank you for reading.
My first thought is this...if you are a loving couple who has no problem communicating, why should this be any different?
Bring it up to him in a way that you are comfortable with. Maybe something like "I heard about this thing the other day, it's called polyamory..." and go from there. You aren't asking him for anything at this time, right? I say go for it and find out exactly what he thinks of things!