Thanks everyone... I probably haven't explained enough....it's all a lot to get off my chest and isn't easy to explain. Poly isn't easy for him either, the stigma from family, friends and work. The connection is a, well, believe it or not a telepathic one of sorts. I have dreams of conversations with him and when I started telling him what I dreamt he started telling me everything. I don't have blinders on...I know LDR isn't going to be easy. And I certainly don't expect anyone to just love me. The bottom line is he leaves in May, and I can't imagine my life without him. So I am dreaming of anyway I can make it all work. It probably sounds pretty pathetic. Sorry
I don't mean to sound like a total idiot!
It helps to plan things, makes me put off the inevitable, the realization that when he leaves its probably forever and no amount of wishing is going to get me what I want. It is what it is and what will be will be. Thank you all xxxx