Well I'd just say "Im curious about your relationship agreements with JQ and how they might affect me/us. Could we talk about the agreements we have with other partners so we can make sure we are on the same page and I don't have to worry about overstepping any boundaries?" Or something similar.
If he has trouble answering that, I would back off personally, anybody who isn't clear on their own agreements is too much potential drama for me. (ymmv) If he cleared it up for me though, THEN I'd ask about the running hot and cold thing
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.