but once i got there and said "ok, i've made it" he just sped right up to that point like it was nothing and said "ok great when can we keep going?" true or not, that was what i was feeling.
I really identified with this, but maybe more often on the giving rather than receiving end of it. Give me an inch, I run circles round the moon. It puts pressure on other people to be clear about their hard limits. Sometimes it's hard when you don't know where your limits are, and when there's a difference between how you feel, what you expect you will feel and how you hope or want to feel.
Anyway, It's great that you seem to have a good handle on your emotions, and are able to express that. Bodes well for you handling the intricacies of poly!
Of course, awaiting the rest of the tale...