Originally Posted by redpepper
Ya, I know that the common suggestion is not to go there with poly if your relationships are not stable to begin with, but I've changed my mind. Why not cause a shit storm to kick start an old boring relationship. I get it. I just wish for some clarification ahead of time. Hence the term poly "lifestylers" for me. It works for me in describing a possible scenario. Thoughts?
While I tend to agree with that common suggestion, I hear what you're saying.
I know that a lot of our growth has come from situations where life threw us into a shit storm, whether we wanted it or not. It was hell to deal with at the time, but we always came out stronger both as individuals and as a couple.
After all, it's not until a tornado rips through the neighbourhood that you really learn which foundations are the strongest and which were held together with sticky tape and mud.
But I completely agree with "clarification ahead of time." It's one thing to be causing yourself grief in an attempt to grow. It's another thing entirely to bring someone into the mess unwittingly. Tell her you're trying something different and you don't know how it will work out, warn her not to get too attached because she might be sent packing at any minute, and respect her needs and feelings as a fellow human being and not just your poly guinea pig.