Hi,May I offer another perspective?
It is possible that he is also seeing this relationship as new still, and is dating around, just as many people do in our society. Asking him if he is ready to commit to your lifestyle or find his own way right now might be a huge undertaking for someone. It is possible that he simply wants to date you in the way that he would date others... In the dating world, this isn't strange, but healthy...
So - Clarifying that you'd like to know that he has other dates would be great. he might just not be used to that level of honesty - hence the cancelling of your date and the secrecy (but he did admit it once you asked - once again the level of honesty he is used to in the dating situation)
My suggestion is for both of you to come a little more to the middle to understand each other's situations. Instead of "training" him to act in a certain way, or vice versa. He might just not want that training if he doesn't even know if he wants the lifestyle.
get my drift?