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Old 03-20-2013, 10:30 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,401

I can see a bit of myself in your partner, except I don't make promises that I don't expect to keep.

My gf is the type to get attached easily. When we started dating, she'd go on facebook and just wait and wait for me to come online. I usually didn't, because sitting on facebook and chatting is not my thing. Her husband eventually made her realize that I'm not trying to dis her, I'm just not into facebook.

Her desire for daily communication (formerly a "perceived need") is stronger than mine, so she would (and often still does) initiate most of our conversations. That doesn't mean I'm avoiding her or that I don't care about her, it just means I don't think of calling her before she thinks of calling me.

It took her some to realize that's just because I'm a solitary, introverted homebody. It's not about her or me not liking her, it's about me being a loner.

So in our case, she really needed to change what she perceived as needs within her relationships in order to be with me; her husband explained to her that if she was too clingy, she would scare me away. He was probably right. So she dealt with it, and now she's grateful and credits me with "teaching" her independence within relationships. All I did was keep being myself, stubbornly at times.

Oh... but not all that manipulative "breaking up with you to get my way" crap. That's just stupid.

I had to laugh a little bit at one thing. My supervisor's advice is that if you want to do something that isn't covered by any policy, don't ask the administration for permission. They might say no. Just do it. If they don't like it, let them implement a policy against it.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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