Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
Don't be so sure. Kids are really observant and intuitive. They pick up on all kinds of things that grown-ups don't give them credit for.
It would be more accurate to say "we haven't told them anything" than to assert that they know nothing.
At some point, you'll need to explain not only polyamory, but your WLM to them. You both recognize that having a D/s lifestyle is a choice you've made conscientiously and deliberately. The kids will inevitably pick up on the power imbalance. If they aren't told explicitly what that's all about, they might grow up thinking that's how marriages are "supposed" to be. If they choose it for themselves, that's all fine and dandy. But like mono or poly, it should be a choice, not just something they do because their parents do it so they think it's what's expected.
Yes, it would be more accurate to say we haven't told them anything. So, we haven't told them anything. We will explain as questions come up, and if questions don't come up, we will probably talk to them about these different lifestyles when they begin to date as teenagers. Until then, we don't plan to say much about it. Most of the difference they see with the D/s lifestyle is that Dad does more cleaning than a lot of dads they know...and I think that's a good thing, especially for my son to see! We are very careful about how we live our lifestyle with regard to our children. It's not something we just ran into without thinking of them. And we will be fully supportive of whatever lifestyle our children lead...whether they are gay/straight/mono/poly/D/s/BDSM/trans...as long as they are happy, well adjusted, good members of society, we are happy.