Love In Our Lives - KK's blog space thing
Ok got past first post fear, got past hang up over picking a title. Here goes, lets hope I'm not about to ruin my life again.Ö I posted a thread in introductions but for completeness I feel the need to include that info here.
I've been reading the forum for months now but have been reluctant to start posting due to feeling like I'm not real poly enough. I've gained so much from reading the stories and posts here. I was surprised to see the wide range of definitions of polyamory being used and that for the most part people seem so supportive and open minded with each other despite the differences. My limited experience leads me to believe people are either wired to be able to love more than one or not but I understand people can choose whether to practice polyamory or not as well.
I'm a 30 year old heterosexual female. I was introduced to the word polyamory by a man who was being bullied about it in an online group I was part of when I was a teenager. I just couldn't see anything wrong with his situation and what he had to say and eventually left the group in frustration from fighting in his defense. I had totally forgotten about that until I tried to remember where I first learned that word. I have often loved more than one, and want to live my life open to love should it come along but it hadn't occurred to me to identify with that word until the last year or so when looking for advice.
Iím currently in a Vee with Herman and Jasper. I've been married to Herman for 12 years. He's 42, hetero and so mono he refuses to say he loves our dogs. I'm also in a long distance relationship with Jasper for about 6 years. He's 28, hetero, I'm not so sure where he stands on poly for himself. He's been free to date others from the beginning but never has. I donít have any kids and donít plan to. My life feels strange and difficult and terrible and unbelievably great all at once.
Why am I here? My Vee has a real communication problem, a number of them actually. Also we donít know any other poly people (that weíre aware of) so for me its nice to see a forum of people who talk about the things I think about. These things combine so that we donít have anyone outside the relationship to talk to about it, and we arenít talking about it inside the relationship. I hate to open this blog this way but that is why Iím here. Iím very stuck inside my own head at the moment and I need to try something different. Iím hoping this gives me a place to work thoughts out in writing so at least I know Iíve expressed it, even if no one sees it. I hope the guys read it. I secretly hope theyíll post but Iím not holding my breath.
Iíve read that the general etiquette in this section is to refrain from comments and debates in peopleís personal thread. Personally Iíve read other blogs and wanted to react but knew it really wasnít polite. This is my personal invitation to say whatever you want here. I hate to sound presumptuous that anyone will even care about my story but I want to put on record that I welcome comments and discussion.