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Old 03-20-2013, 08:08 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,051

When I mentioned culture, I wasn't thinking of the larger Western culture where monogamy is expected and the norm. A culture is any group that has certain requirements or expectations to meet in order to fit in, and anyone who wants to fit into that culture must agree to those requirements or be considered an outsider or oddball. I was actually thinking of the culture that many polyfolk have created, where there is a often a lot of dogma about how to properly be poly, and which teaches that monogamy is automatically less evolved, a prison, lacking in autonomy, etc. Any culture can oppress us with demands to fit in, even a poly culture (which is mostly why I tend to avoid people who are part of the poly community and prefer to just meet people and see where they stand on exclusivity) but we have to find our own paths to creating what we want and how to be happy in life. I have nothing against monogamy per se. While I want to and prefer to practice polyamory, I don't feel a need to see people who embrace monogamy as weaker, stupid, or unenlightened, as so many poly hardliners do. With the right person and circumstance, I could easily and happily agree to a monogamous relationship again. My self-fulfillment is not dependent upon a relationship structure; it depends on me, how I choose to engage with my life, and what I bring to relationships.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

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Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 03-20-2013 at 08:11 PM.
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