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Old 03-20-2013, 06:12 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I like it as another possible scale to consider when dating people.

Ego is not the only yardstick at play when interacting with others but it is certainly something to deal with.

There's motivation and what motivates people.
  • No bad stuff done to me. (punishment)
  • What good stuff is there for me? (reward)
  • What others think of me. (peer pressure)
  • The rules "of the land." (organization rules, state laws, etc)
  • What other people need.

There's the 6 maturity buckets.
  • chronological maturity
  • physical maturity
  • emotional maturity
  • intellectual maturity
  • social maturity <---- I put interpersonal skills there
  • philosophical maturity

There's wellness dimensions -- worried, upset, and/or sick people cannot take things on board well.
  • mental wellness
  • emotional wellness
  • spiritual wellness
  • physical wellness
  • social wellness
  • environmental wellness
  • occuptional wellness
  • financial wellness

Quote:
The list I linked to had me wondering if, since many of us agree that poly is not more "evolved" than monogamy, just different, it would be fair to say that poly is a more "developed" way of having relationships. But if I look at my partners and where I figure we all fall on the scale, even that doesn't work, because MC is the furthest developed (as those categories are described, anyway) and yet he's the one (of the three of us) who isn't interested in another partner for himself.
That's another thing. Desire. Just because one it healthy, fit, well, has the capacity... doesn't have to mean they FEEL like exercising it.

I do not think polyamorous relationships are more "evolved" than monoships.
Relationships are just relationships. Polyamorous relationships just means more people. And in having more people? More variables to contend with in the polymath.

It means dealing with the external layers of each person AND internal layers of the person. External things might be habits, pets, job schedule. Stuff this person comes with that is external to them. Internal things might be stuff like how the process emotional, handle stress, temper, etc. Stuff that springs from within them.

I'm sure there are other yardsticks to think about when dating and being in relationship with people too. Def interesting to think about. Thanks for the link!

Galagirl
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