Thread: Coming out
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Old 03-20-2013, 05:58 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

I had a *squee* moment last night- I'm taking a class that's supposed to help me with stress management (we'll see) and since some of my stress is due to the LDR nature of my partnership with TGIB, it's come up in class. However, my classmates and the teacher also know I'm married with kids, so I've been considering how to balance my desire to be honest about what is contributing to my stress so I can learn the best coping strategies versus my desire to not waste a bunch of class time dealing with people's potentially negative reactions (this is a more conservative part of CA. I'm sure there are people in the class who would tell me I'm going to hell, which *shrug* whatever, they're strangers, but it would be a waste of my time, the teacher's time, and the other students' time!).

So I decided to stay after class last night so I could speak to the teacher (an older LCSW, more of an educator now than a practicing therapist). I told her that, while I didn't feel the rest of the class needed to know, if she thought some of what I talked about sounded "off" or "odd" and she was uncertain what to suggest (I currently refer to TGIB as a "family member" in the class. Sometimes it gets awkward) then it would probably help to know that I was in a polyamorous relationship, and yes, I was married, but TGIB was also my life partner and like a spouse, so some of the recommendations about friends and extended family members wouldn't really apply. She looked confused for a moment, and then asked, "Does your husband know?" I assured her he did, and told her a little bit about the current effort to get us all living together, and she smiled and said, "Wow, your life must get pretty complicated!" I agreed, and we both laughed and left.

This is (I think, my memory is not 100% to be trusted) the first time I've come out to a medical/psychological professional of any sort, and the first time I've come out to someone who was not either a good friend or a COMPLETE stranger. I've been in 4 of her classes so far, and have 6 left to go, so I was unsure about coming out to someone who could make the remaining 6 classes very unpleasant and unhelpful. I'm so glad it was a positive experience!
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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