View Single Post
  #133  
Old 03-20-2013, 02:08 PM
ladyslipper ladyslipper is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 47
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Your relationships are what you make of them, not what the structure and dogma of a particular culture make of them.
I think you've hit the nail on the head here. When I talk to my confidante about my choices and my reasons she often makes the same argument as above - her marriage is a monogamous agreement that both partners made willingly and she does not feel limited in her freedom in any way.

Enter "culture". Yes, a pair of people can make a choice to be monogamous and this can be done with out feeling like it is a restriction to their freedom BUT renegotiating that agreement can be a sticky, tricky endeavor in the context of our culture. Asking for more freedom at a later date is often seen as bad form. You made a "promise", we "agreed". Monogamous marriage is seen by many as a worthy goal and deviating from that norm is not easy in a culture that regards the couple so highly. So I think the most important ideal to remember is choice - and negotiations need to be made in the context of the present moment, not the context of some historical moment in time that no longer exists. Does the monogamous agreement made allow for that or not?
__________________
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
Reply With Quote