You can't change people. It's one thing if someone agrees that they have a problem, and they are willing to put some work into changing themselves. But if they just manipulate you and describe you as the one with the problem, there's really no hope for improvement.
The way I see it, you have three options.
The first, and to me somewhat obvious, is to just leave him to his tricks and go your own way. What's in it for you? Why are you still with him?
The second, if you don't want to be that drastic, is to just cut down your level of expectation to something of a "casual" relationship. If he calls he calls, if not, that's fine because you're doing your own thing. Think of him as an accessory to your life, not an integral part. In other words, you put him in a position in your life where his inability to communicate won't affect you. I'm not convinced it can be done, but it's an option to try.
The third option is to continue on the way you have been, constantly disappointed and hoping things will be better next time. They won't. This path only leads to more sadness.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."