Welcome to our forum.
Sorry to hear that you are having a rough go of it so far. It isn't easy to let go of monogamy when you've invested so many faithful years into it. Give yourself some time; things will get easier little by little.
Hope you'll have a look around at our various threads, and post any thoughts, questions, or concerns you may have.
Glad to have you aboard.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"