Thanks GalaGirl for the very detailed reply. I apologize for now replying back sooner but it's been a very busy week and things sort of came to a head yesterday.
I didn't have the courage to make my own decision and be in control of what was going to happen. After spending the weekend with Ray and visiting my family he decided he no longer wanted a triad and wanted a single partner, and that partner was me. I sort of freaked out and said I couldn't give Jason up and that I wouldn't. I didn't know what to do so we had a group discussion which was good because everyone started saying how they really felt. It was great and open and honest. After the talk I felt a huge relief, I decided to no longer be with Ray and to continue on a slower track with Jason.
My heart is breaking though because I'm loosing Ray. He's been my support system emotionally and financially for the past 5 years and I'm not sure how to handle things are go from here. We've been talking and he's willing to work on us and help me and feels I owe it to him and our relationship to try but I feel my heart wouldn't be in it and I wouldn't be able to give him what he needs and vise versa. Do you think I should try or is my decision ok?
Ray doesn't want me to see Jason and said he would be ok if I left him and wanted to work on myself and heal myself and find happiness, which is what I plan to do in a sense but I don't want to put Jason in hold, or should I? How can I take things slow and scale back with Jason and go from sex partners, to boyfriends, back to a tamed down version?
I really do appreciate all your guidance and you were right on the money with how things would happen. Now I'm playing catch up because I'm lost and my works has been turned upside down. I feel so guilty for blindsiding Ray with this but at the same time he wanted us to do that to Jason.
Have you ever been here before or know of someone who has and ideas or tips to help?
We live in the same home and shared a life like a married couple. Our families love each-other and everything is shared. What do I do now?
Thanks in advance and forgive me for typing from my phone.
I'll send more information later if needed and thanks for being a wonderful community!