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Old 01-08-2010, 05:38 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by fauxsisticated View Post
My fear is that he'll grow to love someone more, or start spending more time with them than me, and I'll wind up lonely and missing him.
Hi Faux,
Hey, nothing unusual or abnormal about those feelings what-so-ever !
Given the bad experience you had in younger years it's understandable - but that was then and this is now.
You're older now, more mature, more experienced -as is your SO. Don't compare apples to oranges
But you do have to be prepared to "share". And yea - that means time, interests etc. But that's a big girl thing If you think about it, you probably have some interests and stuff that's not his cup of tea so you need the chance to pursue those too. It's just healthy for everyone. Viewing it as a threat or competitive is a choice - and not a particularly constructive one. You seem like the type of person who really knows this - just needs a reminder from yourself

Originally Posted by fauxsisticated
We spend a LOT of time together now, and I love it that way! I don't want that to change. I don't want to spend time with anyone else more than him,

It's weird being happy for someone and jealous about the same thing at the same time. Even discussing it now is hard for me. Sigh. I really want to unload this baggage. I hate jealousy, I think it's the dumbest human emotion going!
I think it's sooooooo easy to slip into an unhealthy dependency when two people really love each other and connect on many things. We don't realize it - don't see it coming. Your statement above shows some possible evidence of that. On guard ! Don't let it dominate your relationship ! If it does, eventually one or the other (or both) will begin to feel trapped & constrained. Not good !

"Happy & jealous at the same time" ?
Yep - pretty normal. It WILL go away if you practice. Doesn't make it a lot easier at the time I know but at least you've identified the beast and can call it for what it is.

Good luck. You seem to have the right attitude & outlook !

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