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Old 03-19-2013, 03:37 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 1,357

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
She will not return to exactly who she was before, nor will her family. BG has a point there.
I get you, it's not something I care to spend emotional energy worrying about. Though because you two pointed it out it is something I am keeping in mind.

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
It's a difficult and fine line to tell a partner about wants and needs without also conveying expectations.
Which is of high concern for me. While I want to convey my needs I don't want to do anything that would apply pressure. The last thing she needs is to deal with my shit - she has plenty on her plate at the moment.

Honestly at this point I think I've said plenty to her about what I want. I need to coast for a while and just keep my eyes open.

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
You might find your own heart less burdened and your pain reduced if you can find a way to be helpful and loving to her. She's going to need both of you, there is no question of that. In some ways, it is a blessing that you three moved in together now. Both her loves are with her.
Thanks opal. I know that she loves me and embraces what I have to offer her. Even in her grief she is such a wonderful partner, making sure to show tenderness, sharing her thoughts, etc. The fact that her sleep needs to happen with CV at the moment is something I hope to feel compersion for, not envy (I'm working on it). Gentle reminders from such observant and experienced people here on the boards turns out to be exactly what I needed.
Me: male, 40, straight, single
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