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Old 03-19-2013, 03:23 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,514

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
This death in the family could turn her into someone you barely recognize. It can take years to get back to "normal" and then "normal" is not what you thought it would be. You might as well consider this the start of a new relationship, and you may see sides of her you never thought existed.
I get what you're saying BG. People change as they go through life, responding to the stimulus given. A traumatic event like a death in the family *can* prompt substantial changes all at once. I, of course, have no interest in stifling her growth or change and that's not something I currently am willing to add to things to ponder.

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Just remember - this is SO not about you.
What I'm feeling is about me and is my responsibility to take care of. How she is responding to her grief is about her. I know that how she is currently changing our relationship is not in response to she and I, but to the tragedy and how she needs to work through it. I'm *trying* not to take it personally.

Though of course I am taking it personally to a degree, hence this post. "This is not about me" is a common mantra in my life and something I struggle to internalize. It's something I strive to improve on.

Thanks BG and Cleo for chiming in.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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