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Old 03-19-2013, 04:21 AM
GSAS082612 GSAS082612 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Laveen, AZ
Posts: 37

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I am sorry there's problems with him cheating.
he has not cheated, the issue is him dealing with Sam's past cheating, as mentioned previously

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Last time problems came up, what did you decide your time limit was? If there was no progress shown? Sometimes you can love someone with all your might... but if they just aren't meeting your "reasonable amount of time to show some improvements" bar... they just are NOT making the cut. Have they hit your time limit? Or if you go with strikes... have they hit your strikes limit?

Really... it is up to you what you where your tolerance limit is. To me it sounds like you could be tired and done... but still not at the FULL acceptance place in all your buckets.
They have yet to hit my limits, I did in fact set a limit and have in fact improved as mentioned previously but i'm just not content with him not being emotionally which was caused by Sam's cheating.

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
In heart, mind, body AND soul. Maybe just mind and heart? But not yet body and soul?

Here's the stages of grief. You don't sound as angry like in older posts. If that's your yardstick for being done if it has to be done... maybe you are at stage 4? Depressed/Lonely?

You tolerate more than I could. Sigh. I hope YOU at least can get to a better place. I don't know what's going on with him. It isn't really your job to "save" him though. If he's not taking care of himself and being a good partner to you, you cannot FORCE him to be. You could accept this is all you are going to get here. His words talk whatever... but his ACTIONS show you THIS.
I'm not trying to force him to get better but it does In fact hurt me to know that he is so broken because Sam stupidly decided to cheat and didn't think about how it affected him or their life.

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Then determine if that's what you want or not. To me it sounds like you want more from a partner than what he is willing or able to give.

Right now, I just don't know. This isn't his fault that his wife chose to fuck another man and lie about it, to be blunt.
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