Originally Posted by SNeacail
As a mom, I could have told you that
. As a daughter, it pissed me off
It definitely sounds like the time away has been very good for you. Being able to start to pinpoint the behaviors and such that repulse you and rub you the wrong way is good start.
Every parent of small children needs time away, even just for a day or two at a time.
I hate to admit it when my mum is right. In my 39 years of living, she's never been wrong. I had this one mate when I was around 14. Mum was like, "He's going to bad for you. Mind the company you keep." Within 6 months of her saying that, he ended up getting expelled for selling drugs on campus. Our school had a strict no tolerance policy. To this day, I wonder what mum saw in him that lead to those statements. All she says is, "Mothers know."
The time away has calmed me down and done wonders. Some things are set. I want no contact with her girlfriend. That is firm. Divorce is still on the table if nothing changes. She needs to put our kids best interest and their needs before anything. She has to be willing to work on our marriage with no influence from any outside forces. Our business needs to stay between us. Part of the problem now is her girlfriend is too privy, opinionated, and knows way too much for my liking. She needs to keep her opinions to herself and out of our marriage. They wreak havoc and don't belong.
I think better when I don't feel closed in. I had to do a lot of reflecting to figure out where some of these issues originated. I find myself posing many questions when those moments of clarity happen. Still a work in progress and striving to get better every day.